Before continuing, if you have not read my About page feel free to jump on over and give it a read. It is a little lengthy, but well worth the time spent. It also gives some insight on my journey through parenthood…four times over!
To begin, my dear friend, Olivia, asked if it would be alright to throw me a sprinkle for my fourth little bundle of joy. I was so touched and completely blown away by this act of love because I felt, since this was a surprise pregnancy, that I didn’t really deserve a sprinkle. I felt guilty about putting a registry together – of asking people to buy me things for the baby. I thought to myself, ‘if I was so careless as to get pregnant, then why did I deserve any special treatment? Or joy?’ Her response:
“Every baby is a blessing to be celebrated.”
She moved me to tears. She had no idea about all the thoughts and feelings I was having and just how much her words comforted me. Because even though my family and I were surrounded by wonderful people who wanted to help us, I felt guilty for needing help. I felt that it was my fault for putting our family into this situation. That I, and I alone, should be responsible for finding solutions to the problems we now face.
If you find yourself in a similar situation as mine, try not to be hard on yourself. Try not to feel guilty. Your support village wants to be there for you too. Try and let them. It is a way for them to express their love, support and show you how much they care. I’ll admit that I had a hard time following my own advice. It is really hard not to feel guilty, and you may always feel this way to a certain extent. I know my guilt never completely went away. And whether you believe in God or not, my friends and family offered this interesting point of view that is worth pondering:
God puts people into our lives to help us and comfort us in our times of trial. One day, you will be that person for someone else. But for now, receive so in the future you know how to give.
I never thought of the receiving of help as a learning tool for us to become better at helping others. It makes sense now that I think about it. If someone did or gave me something that had a true impact on me, I can use that experience when it is my turn to help someone else. So, I hope that through this blog that you, my friend, are able to find comfort here, among these words with a kindred spirit.