Because the topic of “hearing our children” has a lot to unpack, there will be a few blogs discussing this particular matter.
My older kiddos sometimes feel as though we don’t listen to them very well, especially now that our attention has been elsewhere – the baby. My husband and I strive to do our best to show them that their opinion and feelings have merit. We feel very strongly about giving our children the opportunity to express themselves in an appropriate manner (e.g.: talk, don’t yell; no cursing, etc…), but we know we have been guilty of the “parent fail” in this particular area. We aren’t perfect and have misses and mistakes, as we all do. So, one way we strive to give our children the ability to voice their opinion is when we go on vacation. We try to make them a part of the planning process.
Next week we will be doing a staycation. We’ll relax, unplug and maybe even do some backyard camping and a s’more eating contest!
When we plan our staycation, we also ask each of our older kiddos to come up with an activity and a dinner that they would like to have. We are open and honest with them – they know money is very tight – and we do our best to accommodate their suggestions. Otherwise, we try to come up with alternatives to fit the budget. For example, if they ask to go out to dinner and we can’t afford to do so, we think about their favorite meal from there and try to recreate it (or make it even better!) at home.
We also try to look for activities that offer options for the older kids and the baby that are cost effective. If you have a touch and feel/interactive museum or an aquarium near you, these engage children of all ages. Check with your township office because they may even offer discounted passes.
Lastly, either my husband or I will take the older kids to an activity that is just for them (one of us stays home with the baby). This gives the older children an experience that is about them. Sometimes they really need this time, because there is always this feeling of being limited by the baby. Now, they have the chance to be “pre-baby normal”, even for just a moment. For them, its a mental vacation from toddlerhood. And this reset allows them to be better older siblings as well. Honestly, if we break it down, we (the parents) need breaks from our very active toddler…well, so do the older kids. So on one of the days we will take the older kids to the movies. A local theater offers discounted movies on Tuesdays throughout the summer. Check your local theaters for these great opportunities that will give you and your older children some quality time together! Who knows, you may even get your teen to give more than just a one-word answer to your questions….